Month: April 2022

Bonfire Night

We will dance among the sparks, today. Sisters of the nights that passed and blended with the shadows. Sisters of the moonlit meadows that appear in the corner of the eye.

Fire will rise with red and yellow, a sharp creature devouring the wooden kindling. We will cast spells and chant curses and we will all dive into flames, to reborn again.

And between a rock and grass, we will find a solace for a witchful heart.

Spring blooms with green and we will bloom with vermillion. Silhouettes against the darkness, a spin of life and death. Fiery tangles caught in the branches’ cradle, hands held high to reach stars.

A first kiss of the queen of May, a blessing from the green maiden.

Lemur [Derogatory]

Current world level: Hurry up, before we all come to our senses!

But what fits to oblivious lemur who thinks is a king, not necessary suits whole planet Earth.

Amusement level: 0.


Go To Hell (I Rule There)

Once upon a time, a woman who was not used to see goths in natural environment, said that if I listened to “such” music and wear “such clothes” – I will certainly go to hell,

It’s a red-hot, terrible place where demons pour cat urine on souls and make them listen to tirades about last visit to the tax office or doctor, or about spine pains.

I would answer her this way, trying to shine with sarcasm and knowledge of the afterlife.

But I really didn’t care and was evil enough to look at her with superiority and just walk away.

And I’m sad. Because now I would probably wrap the woman in a Machiavellian web of irony and in the end it would only end up with lost time and a sore tongue.

Death by irony is always paintful – as the good old quote from the Lara Croft forum says. People are hopeless, none the less. It’s hard to be a black fae in their crazy world.

Code It!

I am revamping tons of websites. And oblivious on protests made by my mind [ and hands and soul and heart ] I rage that I am not able to code my own wordpress site.

I tried many times, but this form of coding is beyond my skill. Gods filled me with sense of beauty [ or ar least I hope so ], poetry, appreciation for nature, being amazed by sun filtered through leaves… made me a fae… but they didn’t…

… give me abillity to code wordpress.

Technology is evil. So vicious…

Pandora’s Box

I filled myself with love placed in dark places, in rotten hearts, I saw my mishapen reflection in wrong eyes. These eyes… mirrors of black side of my soul. I watered love faint as gossamer, hoping to grow an oak. My mind created mirages, each of them tempting with oasis of juicy fruits.

I knew that I walk the stone path, avalanches falling on both of us, snow covering the budding trees, flowers withering under a touch of our poisoned affection.

I reached for black holes, to create a sun, which sucked strength from my world, grinding my life with gravitation. I ate gravel, enchanting it into raspberries and peaches.

The stars never shined as bright as in moment when it ended. Blinding me with freedom, pushing the wind inside my lungs, pulling the breath out.

Freedom, which become stained with guilt and copper patches of corrosion.

While freedom lasted, my wings were white as snow, my feathers softer than cat’s purr. I know what shape they gained now, I know which color they took. Feathers turned into membranes, snow melted to uncover the battered grass.

Pandora’s box opened to release glowing nightmares into the world. I will hold to remaining hope. Curses and chants, spells and fullmoons, my life spins the thread in place the one that was cut.

Fae Fae Fae Fae

morn fades into fog
silhouettes spin in the dim light
pearly mockery beams into the veiled sky
when fairies circle around the old willow
gleaming like fireflies

their hair wild – untamed strands
their eyes holding the mysteries of the worlds behind the mirrors
and deep ponds filled with black water

the wisdom of olden times in their veins
the cruelty of wintery passages in their hearts

gleaming like fireflies
shining like collapsed suns
drinking from the tree of life
feeding on the weakness of mortality

Carrot and Other Fun Things

I just started re-reading Discworld [not chronologically ]. I picked “Guards! Guards!” and immediately fell in the mood of a rubbed cat.

When I first read Discworld, I was in utter depression, which was mangling both my mind and body. Now I am in even worse mental state [ my bridges burnt long ago… ] so I decided to become Ankh-Morporker again.

The well that sucked me in again is not dark at all. It’s filled with gleaming light, a glittering cave full of luminescent flowers. And in center of this place – a captain of Night Watch, offering me to join their ranks. Or is it a leader of Assassins Guild? I will take anything!

Thank you PTerry.


I  bask in rain like a cat in the full sun. I feel like my tendrils, those green, rooty, ephemeral and invisible threads search for rain drops, to soothe their thirst. I feel how my eyelids flutter against the downpour, craving for more… and more. I am a water creature, made of waves. I need them to breathe.

My land always was dry like old and dusty painting palette. My soul was even more cracked than my ground, I drank blood instead of water, I drank the sun and it burned, I drank the night then and I was coming back to my senses. A vicious circle, a vicious way to stay alive.

When the time came, and your words hit me like a stone tossed by a giant, I know the rain will come. The storm, which will ruin everything to help me stay among the living.

I bask in the rain like a cat in the full sun. My sins forgotten, my soul almost healed. There will be needed many storms like this one to heal it whole. But you are my cloud filled with vital essence. My old soul rejuvenates, gains colors and flickers like young crystal.

A cloud that always comes to cover the sun that wounds me. To make light turn darkness. The darkness filled with.



I stole the sun from your eyes. I replaced it with darkest void, filled with terrors. I gushed the stars and bleeded with light, while you… drifted in nothingness, absent and empty.

You are me.

You are my own personal Tartarus of dual soul, which shattered long time ago, a Horcrux split twice, and again… and again.

I asked only for the sky, but charms are dangerous things. They never fulfill your wishes, they distort them in  thousands of cracked mirrors.

I am both. You and me. And we suffer the unbearable pain and dull happiness, tangled in one vine of gossamer leaves.

I am an aos si that was enchanted, I am a hunter caught in my own trap. And the forest speaks my names, as I dwell deeper, and deeper. Into the spell that drills me.


Cat Palette

My friend decided to pretend that his kitty released her own make-up palette.

On April 1st.

That is a ray of light. I am happy that the kitty was so clever ^^